Eli's Birth Story

So so happy our sweet boy is here! I love writing down my children's birth stories in order to remember all of the little details. They are so fun and special to look back on!  

Well, Mister Eli decided to forego coming early like his siblings so we decided to be induced on Friday, February 16 when I was 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant. For some reason I felt a little uneasy about waiting any longer to have him. (You'll find out why later on!) It felt so strange calmly finishing some last minute packing for the hospital and some house-cleaning things the night before. With the other two, I was usually in pain with labor contractions and we were rushing throughout the house trying to get all of the last minute things together. Such a huge difference, it felt a little Twilight-zone ish knowing the day our boy would be here!

Earlier that day, I had had my last prenatal appointment and my doctor stripped my membranes just in case to see if he might still come on his own. I was dilated to a 4 and 80% effaced. I was having some contractions on and off all day after the sweep but honestly I'd had contractions on and off all week so I didn't really feel any different. After Kyler and I finally settled down for the night, I started having contractions again around 11:15pm but after about 40 minutes they went away. I finally fell asleep about midnight and my alarm woke me up at 5:30am to get ready to head to the hospital at 6:15am. Again, I felt so weird that morning just calmly getting ready to have a baby- like what?!

Waiting to get signed in!  

We got to the hospital and walked up to the labor and delivery unit. (again, so different! Usually Kyler grabs me a wheel chair and is flying down the hall while I'm in crazy pain!) We waited for a little in the reception area and then signed in and were taken to our room where the magic would happen! 

Our labor and delivery nurse Sally was so sweet and nice. She was actually the same nurse I had had when I had my kidney stones this past November! She was awesome. She got us all set up and Kyler took some pictures of me in my last moments as a prego. We waited for a bit (good ol' hospital standard time where everything moves a little slow. Totally fine with it though- I get how busy medical professionals are!) and then Sally put in my IV and started asking me all sorts of questions about myself and my pregnancy and what not. Finally at about 7:40am she put me on pitocin. I could feel contractions right away but they were very minimal and very spaced out. I was feeling a bit dizzy so she had me lay on my side. I think I just hadn't eaten enough that morning or was laying on the wrong side or something. At 8am she gave me some phentanol (sp?) to help with pain because the anesthesiologist was in a c section and couldn't get to me yet. It made me feel a bit loopy dizzy.

My last "pregnant with Eli" picture

Doctor Savage came in and broke my water at 8:30am! The contractions started to get worse pretty quickly after that and they became quite painful and every 3 minutes almost immediately. The phentanol wasn't even touching the pain, and I was not loving feeling it. I had so hoped this time around I could avoid feeling those intense contractions dang it! The anesthesiologist came in at about 8:45am. Thankfully, he was awesome and so so fast which I greatly appreciated. He gave me some medicine to help the epidural work faster and it made me CRAZY itchy (like Rosie's labor) but I'd rather be itchy than in pain! I finally felt numb at about 8:55/9 ish. The anesthesiologist mentioned he could give me some Benadryl to help with the itch if needed. At about 9:25am I decided to take him up on that offer! As he was putting it into my epidural catheter, I all of a sudden felt a huge pressure down below and a strong urge to push. Sally checked me and I was at a full 10 (had been at a 4 when she started pitocin) and baby was ready to be born. I didn't even have my catheter in my bladder yet, Eli was just a little too quick!

Sally called Doctor Savage and she got there at about 9:45am. I pushed 3 times in one contraction and BOOM. Out he came at 9:50am! So so quick, just over 2 hours from when I was started. I tore just a tiny bit and had one small stitch at the top and one at the bottom (which is exactly how it's been for all three babies, kinda crazy.) He was 7lbs 15oz, a whole pound and a half bigger than Hank and Rose were! He was 20 inches long and cried the sweetest little cry as he was plopped onto me. Right before Kyler got to the cut the cord, Doctor Savage showed us a HUGE knot in it. She said seeing that is proof that God was watching out for our baby because if it had tightened just a little more, Eli wouldn't have made it. (I'm thinking that's why I felt like we should be induced sooner than later!) So grateful nothing awful happened!

The huge knot in Eli's cord!  

Daddy got to cut the cord and then they checked baby. He was doing great! In those first moments he definitely looked like he had red hair, but as time goes on I can't decide and sometimes think he has hair like Henry did when he was first born. At first I thought he looked so much like Rose, mainly with his mouth, but with every passing day I think he looks a little more like Hank and his daddy! 

They gave him back to me and we snuggled and did skin to skin and took some pictures with Kyler and then Doctor Savage. Then Sally brought me a turkey sandwich (which is one of my favorite parts after delivery, YUM) and I nursed Eli. He ate so well right off the bat. He's been a fantastic nurser from the get go, thank goodness! Those first few days of nursing him brought some awful cramps though. They literally felt like labor contractions at times. Don't love that part but glad it only lasts a few days! After feeding him, we took a bunch of pictures and just snuggled him. At about 11am Sally took us down to the Postpartum unit. 

So overexposed sorry 😬 I love Doctor Savage!

They got us all settled in the Postpartum wing and then Kyler and I had lunch. Eli got a little check up, some shots and a bath and cried his sweet little heart out during it, but he did love being under the heat lamp.

Basking in the warmth of the heat lamp :)  

Later that day after I got some sleep in and Kyler got some work done (a lawyer's work is literally never on hold,) we announced Eli's birth to our families. We first played a joke on them that his name was Archibald Marmaduke McCarty ha ha ha it was great because everyone really believed us. It made Eli James sound so much better when we finally told the truth. :) Kyler was busting a gut over everyone's very polite reactions, and then when we told the truth the real opinions came out. :) ha ha seriously so funny. Don't worry guys I'd never let Kyler get away with something like that for real! I can't really remember where we got the name Eli from, but when we heard it we just loved it. James is after Kyler, as it's one of his middle names! ❤️

❤️ 

Later that night, Kyler went to pick up the kids to have them meet baby brother! They were so funny. They were excited to see him but kind of wanted to keep their distance. Almost like this little tiny human freaked them out a little. We actually had to bribe them a bit to take pictures with him. 😂 After that initial shock was over though they have totally warmed up to him. Henry loves saying hi to Eli every day and loves to see what animals he has on his blankets and clothes, it's pretty cute. Rose loves to rub his head real hard a few times a day and then will occasionally show bursts of love towards him. :)

Doing some of that good ol' head rubbing that she does best 

Henry looking like a 10 year old!  

My babies 💙💙💙 

Baby Eli gave them presents in the hospital (play doh for Rose and a cute car puzzle for Henry) and they were so excited about them. I think it definitely made them feel a little more favorable towards the tiny new creature that Mom said was baby brother. :) We took some pictures, the kids played with their toys for a minute and then Kyler packed them up and took them home and stayed the night with them. 

Celebrating Eli's birthday!  

His going home outfit :) 

The following morning Kyler came back at 8:30 am. Doctor Savage came and circumcised Eli and then we were able to go home at about 2pm. It was such a whirlwind experience but I'm so grateful for how things turned out! Being induced was pretty awesome if I say so myself. I had been a little nervous beforehand because i didn't know what to expect or how my body would react, but it was great! I especially liked being able to plan in advance and not worry about not being able to get an epidural or even get to the hospital quick enough if my water were to break on it's own! Definitely a lot less stressful, and I'm extra grateful we had it scheduled for when we did so that knot in Eli's cord didn't cause us any issues! 

All ready to go home! 

We love having this sweet boy in our family and can't believe he's really here with us. Having a new little one is always such a testament to me of the miracle of life! 

A family of FIVE!  ❤️

Date Night Ideas and Tips

Guys! I love Date Night!  And having Valentine's Day this week really has strengthening marriages on my mind. ❤️

Getting that precious time, one on one, to talk about adult things and to reconnect and have fun together is so important! Kyler and I are the biggest believers in making your marriage as strong and awesome as possible, and regular date nights absolutely help with that.

We definitely understand how hard it can be to make them happen though, especially if you have tight finances or young children at home, but don't give up hope! Date nights are still possible, even in those situations! 

So, here is a list of some of our favorite date nights that we've done in the past, split up into several different financial/situational categories to apply to the different stage of life you may be in. I've also got some advice and tips through out and at the end for how to get the most out of your date nights and how to make them as regular as possible. :) We definitely aren't perfect in our marriage (like, not even close 😂) but we do love date nights and have felt a huge benefit within our relationship when we prioritize them! I'd love to hear your date night ideas and tips as well so comment at the end if you have any! :) 

Free or Cheap Date Nights

- Go play at the park! Sounds silly, but the playground can be pretty dang fun with the love of your life  

Cheesey, yes, but I love this picture all the same :)  

- Grab a camera and take "couple pictures" with the timer setting. Call us crazy but doing this has been one of our favorite date nights because we have fun thinking of good and dorky poses and just goofing off together :)  

- Get some ice cream! Even just getting out of the house for an hour or two for a small little ice cream cone and some good conversation can make all the difference in your relationship 

- Go thrifting! (Pretending that's a word if it's not🙊) Somehow we end up at DI (a thrift store in Utah) at the end of at least half of our dates ha! We love finding good deals and if you check regularly enough you can find some pretty neat stuff. :)

- If tight on money, eat dinner at home and then go out to a nicer place just for dessert! Still feels like you went out but you only had to pay for the cheaper part of the evening! 

Hello windy night ha ha  

- (if LDS) Go the temple together! ❤️ 

- Go for a walk or hike in nature and watch the sunset together 

At Home Date Nights

 - Play board games! We have a lot of fun being teasingly (okay, sometimes seriously😅)  competitive with each other. 

- Have a fancy dinner date at your own kitchen table! Make a favorite meal or order take out, break out the fine china, light some candles and dress up all fancy. 

- Ask each other questions about your childhood, time during school, favorite memories while growing up etc. Kyler and I talk about pretty much everything and it always amazes me that we still have so much new information to share with each other. I once heard that you should seek an education in your spouse. Example- maybe when you are married you have a high school diploma or maybe even an associates degree in regard to how well you know each other- well keep continuing the education! Keep learning and growing and get as many "degrees" in each other as you can. :) 

- Watch a show or movie together. Now this one I share with caution though. I personally don't think that Netflix and Redbox should be your date night every week. It becomes really easy, especially as young parents with babies who go to bed early, to just go on auto pilot and watch a ton of TV and to never actually talk to each other or deepen your relationship with one another because you're tired and you just want to zone out. I get it! As a woman who needs 9 hours of sleep at night to be a happy human (and who rarely gets that amount every night because #pregnancyinsomnia,) I really get it! But I've learned that marriages don't stay at one level all the time. They are constant work. 😬 I often think of the analogy of marriage as an escalator heading downwards and that we are walking upwards with our spouse. If you stop putting effort into your relationship by no longer taking steps upward (symbolizing effort and progress) and just do whatever is easiest all of the time, your awesome marriage won't stay awesome! Your relationship will start to lower on the escalator. Although movies and TV shows can be a really fun way to bond with each other, I highly suggest you don't let that be the only way you bond. And while watching, I suggest you put away your phones, cuddle right up next to each other or hold hands and make sure you really CONNECT. Don't put your marriage into the hands of your television. :) When we were poor and in college we totally would watch movies together frequently, but I dare you to at least limit it to only one, maybe two weekends a month. Force yourself to get creative and avoid the easy idea every time! :) 

- If you have kiddos asleep, have one person go pick up dinner or some delicious special treat and eat it together on the porch on couch 

- If it's warm enough, lay out on a blanket in your backyard and look at the stars and talk together.  

-Make a list of meaningful songs you both love and spend time cuddling and listening to them together  

- Have a theme night! Dress up as a cowboy and girl, watch a western movie and order some KFC! Or wear kimonos, learn how to fold origami and watch The Karate Kid. I once decorated our house with candy and dressed up like Willy Wonka and we watched Charlie and the Chocolate factory 😂 This concept is fun because you can mix it up in a million different ways and it's just fun being ridiculous and goofy together! 

- Make a treat together: cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, some fancy cake you've never tried before etc 

Out on the Town Date Nights  

- The classic dinner and a movie  

- Try a new restaurant every time  

- Laser tag

- Play at an arcade  

-  Go buy a new outfit for each other 

- Check out a comedy show  

- Get tickets for local theater performances   

- Attend a concert  

- Do a seasonal activity like walking around Christmas lights, go sledding, attend an outside concert, go swimming, try snowboarding or skiing, go to a Pumpkin Patch, walk around a park with all of the new flowers blooming, play on the sidewalk with chalk etc 

 - Go to a foreign market and buy a bunch of different types of candies and treats and do a taste night! 

Random Tips  

-If money is so scarce and there is no room in the budget at all for baby sitters, try doing a date night swap with other couples that have kids! Take turns babysitting for one another so the other couple can have a kid free night.  

One of the best triple date nights ever!  

- Double dates can be so fun, but make sure you're still getting one on one date nights most of the time! You are strengthening the relationship of the people you are spending time with, so if you are on a double date you are strengthening your relationship most with the other couple right? And that's not bad at all! But make sure you still get that time in that is 100% focused on just you and your spouse, because that prioritized time alone is what makes strong marriages! But also, occasional double (or triple) dates can be a super fun way to mix things up and create fun memories with friends! ❤️

- Set a monthly Babysitter and Date night budget! When life got busier for us with Kyler's job and church responsibilities, we decided to make Date Nights with a babysitter a top priority so our marriage wouldn't get lost amongst the chaos. We decided on a set amount to put in each budget (and we do cash budgets where we literally get cash out and put it in envelopes) and if there is any left over at the end of the month, we roll it over to the next month! By budgeting for it, it's made it 100% easier to get Date Nights in! We're also lucky to live in a neighborhood with a lot of cute, responsible teenage girls we can hire as cheaper sitters so that's been super lucky for us as well! I love the monthly cash budget concept for this though because you could put aside as little as $5 a month for each budget and save it up and go out once it's big enough for something you two want to do. (Or even just save all of your pocket change and see how quickly you can build it up for a night out!) No matter the amount you set, it's just nice knowing you have a date night coming up. And if it's budgeted for you don't have to worry that a date night will blow all your money either! Win win! 

- Don't be afraid to get vulnerable on date night! Some of our best talks about how our relationship is doing have been over dinner or in our car eating a treat together. Dates are meant to strengthen our marriages, not solely to have fun (although that's definitely a plus!) Ask each other if you are truly happy. Talk about how needs are being met (or not.) If you'd prefer not to have serious conversations during a date night, set aside a time to have these talks regularly. I've been so grateful for these deep, meaningful talks Kyler and I have shared together and I think they've always made our bond stronger. They can be uncomfortable at first and sometimes we just want to avoid any issues or sweep them under the rug, but the closeness you feel in your marriage as you bridge those gaps is irreplaceble! (We're totally not perfect at this, but we're trying to get in a lot of practice with our communication so that maybe one day we will be! Ha ha!) 

- Before marriage, I was always told to make sure my date and I had a plan before going out. I think that was smart advice for that time of my life, but in marriage I think the most important thing you can do is just GET OUT and make Date night happen. If you get a sitter and you pull away from the driveway and say "okay.. now what?" kudos to you for taking the first step and just making the date even possible! Start out with dinner and then you can decide what to do from there. I mean, yes, planned dates are also awesome and I highly suggest those. All I'm saying is don't let the lack of a plan or some huge exciting activity stop you from even trying. Some of our best date nights have begun without a plan! Just get out of the house and celebrate that freedom and alone time together! 

- When in doubt, remember that the goal of date night is to strengthen your relationship with one another! If the date night isn't doing that, it's not a date night.

Apparently we take 9 million close up selfies like this on our dates 😂 

I hope this was helpful for some of you! :) Marriage can be so hard but it can also be such a blast, and I know regular date nights have helped keep our relationship positive and close despite the craziness that life brings! Any other awesome tips or ideas we're missing out on? Tell me below! ❤️👇🏻